The life of Tallulah Banks
by db16
Summary: R/R!!!! FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY Much Fun - READ IT's GReAT...and still great...


7:45  
I am so excited! Not my fault! It was the chocolate…yes well it was just sitting there…behind the milk powder and the scone mix…on the top shelf of the cupboard. My mum really should hide it better! Anyways though, I have to get ready!!!!!!! First Day of my 5th bloody year! Can you believe it? And all my old friends…I wonder if any of the blokes have changed? Hehehehe *evil cackle* I wish I had a goatee so then I could stroke it and then laugh…well, wait, I already have chin hair, not good on a girl…I should pluck.  
9:23  
WHY DOES MY MUM EVEN BUY PORRIDGE!? It's not like I'm ever going to eat it. It's absolutely horrid. I prefer crisps or biscuits and juice. Okay, so biscuits are meant for tea but do I care? No, and when she finds me eating them, she gets all flustered. And…I called her Satan because she was screaming at me in her deep manly voice hehe but now my face wont stop throbbing from where she smacked me.   
12:00  
Tea  
Okay, so mum was right and now there are no biscuits left for tea. Well, now I'll just have to skip tea, because there is no point for tea without biscuits…okay, so I lied - must have tea.  
1:04  
I had 5 packets of tea. It isn't my fault tea is so scrumptious! Yes and on top of it I found a new bag of crisps, so I had some of them…actually the entire bag, but it isn't like they would do any good for mum, she doesn't need anymore crisps! I mean god. I just hope I don't inherit her looks. But dad isn't much better…I'm going turn into some kind of monster! I already am…chin hair and all. I still need to pluck…actually I need to pluck my eyebrow *one brow* too…because it's all hairy! I was walking in town one day and someone screamed for me to braid it. Now I am a monster with chin hair and a braid between my eyes. How awful. Anyways, my mother screamed at me in her man voice and said that I better be ready to board the train because she was dropping me at King's Cross early..3 hours early!   
1:39  
Hiding in the Loo  
Okay so I plucked, everything! I am all nice and clean…and I took a shower early this morning, before I wrote in you…and yes…and OH MY MUM IS SATAN!! She is banging on the door threatening to set my owl free. Must save OWL!  
1:57  
Train Station  
Stupid Mum! So now I am stuck. With a trunk. AND MY OWL who wont shut up, I mean seriously. It shrieks and whenever I scream it's name (Wingog) it screams my name (Which is quite horrid because my name is horrid!!! My mother was on drugs when she named me…I think so) and then people stare and whisper. . . Stupid "talking owl" spell. Never again.   
2:50  
Some Muggle Store   
OH I LOVE MUM!I found money! Yes MUGGLE MONEY! Even though my mum hates me and tells people that I am her "adopted daughter" she put some money in my bag! Oh I love her so much!!! There was a note too it read,   
Tallulah,   
Even though we fight, I still love you. Here's some money enjoy - you know I will send you more too. Even though I am practically out from getting your school supplies…Yes well, don't spend it all at one place!  
Love,  
Your Mummy   
Yes so now, you've heard my horrible name. AND my mother….oh she always loves to sign things as "Mummy". She once signed some check with Mummy and had to fix it up to form the name Daphne Her name. It was rather funny.   
So now I am in this store and I think it's called Sally's Spiffy Shoes. I left Wingog and my trunk outside the store, and I know Wingog is completely capable of protecting herself - even in a cage. So then I went into this store and was looking around and this small little mouse of a women comes up and asks if I need any shoes. I would have said ,"Well, obviously or else I wouldn't be here.", but I answered, "Yes. Spiffy new ones. Do you have any?" And this Mouse-Women smiled showing her big set of nibblers. I almost asked if she wanted some cheese, but she looked friendly, so I didn't think she'd bite me. She showed me all the selections of what she called, "Their finest inventory." I thought it was pompous. 70 muggle dollars so spiffy shoes! Who would pay 70 dollars on shoes? Well me of course. I bought these bloody cool shoes, they had strips down the sides and matched my black robes. Lovely really. Now I am fashion victim too..Fun Fun FUN!  
  
5:16  
On the Train  
I really do love this train. The seats are all nice and comfy…and I love my new shoes! They are so wonderful. Now I feel all fluffy, but it could be all this candy I am eating because I bought the entire candy trolley up as it passed my compartment. And oh lucky me I get my own compartment, well because I was at the station all ready with my shoes and everything. Now I am all full of fluff. Yes and the shoes fit perfectly! So fun. Well, *Yawn* I usually take a nap about this time SHUT IT! and well maybe a little bit of rest wont kill…and Wingog is with the other animals in the back of the train..so no NOISE…okay, sleep is good. But I better hide you so no one reads you. Byeee *Zzz* 


End file.
